Matchbox: The Movie – A bizarre premise, but I felt if there’s anyone who can make it work, John Cena can…
After an opening scene, set in 1997, during which Bill Camp pops up, because Bill Camp is in everything, events take us to the present day, where Sean Walker (Cena – Coyote Vs Acme) steals a nuclear weapon. However, then a bad steals it from him… and now another bad guy wants it, blaming Cena for the fact it’s missing…
…and it takes 30 minutes to get to that point, in this bloated 127-minute movie.
For those who go the distance, I can’t even see what this has to do with Matchbox. Yes, there’s a lot of vehicles, but for the subject at hand, the toy cars are occasionally shown. However, do kids still play with them? I thought they happy-slapped each other for likes on the Toktik?
Beyond that, punch-ups are predictable and nothing to write home about, silly car chases cause baddie cars to fly into the air, while the main cast comment on how “awesome” it looks, and for a good few minutes, one man’s legs are supposedly on fire, yet he never complains about it. No doubt because it’s a CGI effect and no-one told him.
Matchbox: The Movie brings us nothing we haven’t seen before, and I did wonder why isn’t this film 90 mins tops? That said, it’s 113 minutes before the end credits begin. Quite why they last 14 minutes, I don’t know.
For a score, maybe I’ll give Jessica Biel 1.
NOTE: There are no mid- nor post-credits scenes.
Matchbox: The Movie is on Apple TV from tomorrow. It’s not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 127 minutes
Release date: October 9th 2026
Studio: Apple TV
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Rating: 1/10
Director: Sam Hargrave
Producers: Robbie Brenner, Jules Daly, David Ellison, Dana Goldberg, Don Granger
Writer: David Coggeshall
Music: Alex Belcher
Cast:
Sean Walker: John Cena
Aimee: Jessica Biel
Ted: Arturo Castro
Crosby: Sam Richardson
Charmaine: Teyonah Parris
Helen: Danai Gurira
Robbie: Golshifteh Farahani
Mosier: Corey Stoll
Falko: Daniel Bernhardt
Mustafa: Randeep Hooda
Smalley: Bill Camp
Grigor: Kristofer Hivju
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.