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There’s also a daft cameo from Paul McCartney as his Uncle Jack. As the lead is being dragged off to be executed, Macca tells him, “Mention my name and they won’t cut your feet off!”
At least he fits in better with this than David Beckham did in King Arthur: Legend of the Sword(!)
I can’t remember what led to a scene with a a wedding between Jack and a woman who looks like she was a participant on The Jeremy Kyle Show, as that felt particularly crowbarred in to beef up the overlong running time, although at 129 minutes it’s the shortest of the series so far – and I’m glad that’s the case. Had it been listed as nearly three hours like some of the earlier entries, then I would’ve bypassed it completely. Rarely does a film need to run for longer than two hours, in my view.
A film is said to be split into three acts, and in this case, the first is very entertaining while the second slows down as it gets into the origins as how Salazar and Sparrow came to be at loggerheads – which features our rather boyish-looking hero when he was younger, and captaining the Dying Gull, but who was playing him? 😉 Anyhoo, I was expecting things to pick up as it came to an end, but… it didn’t, particularly. A few more laughs, but the well of those mostly ran dry after the first third was over.
So, for films 1-4, perhaps I should just go back and watch the first third, then skip to the last 15 minutes when it starts to slow down…
There’s also an almost complete abscene of a plot – the crux of it comes across as an idea rather than something well-throught through. Again, that’s not always a major issue for a summer movie – although more meat on its bones would be nice (pun not intended, given all the dead characters who are still walking about).
Aside from the Trident of Poseidon issue, Salazar wants a special compass, belonging to Jack, so he can become whole again and escape his plight. Quite how that solves things wasn’t explained, unless it was one of many times when the dialogue was drowned out by the score.
If you see the on a regular cinema screen, then the film is presented in 2.35:1. However, it was shot opened up to 1.90:1 (the ratio for digital IMAX), so IMAX screens will show it in that ratio, and in 3D. There were one or two moments that looked like 3D would’ve been fine, but beyond that – nope. It wasn’t shot in 3D and was another post-conversion job, anyway.
Overall, Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge plays out more like a series of set pieces rather than a coherent movie – not necessarily a problem for a summer blockbuster when you just want a slice of big-screen action for two hours, but the law of diminishing returns definitely kicks in for these. It starts off with a great one, but doesn’t even claw back to match that with the finale, especially since the way it all plays out is nothing we’ve not seen before.
Oh, and when I saw this, on Friday, the cinema was almost empty. However, I put that down to the fact that, for a rarity in Manchester, it was baking hot outside. Given that the weather is starting to turn, I expect it will fill up over this coming week, since it’s half-term.
Naturally, Pirates 6 will follow in due course. Reportedly, Johnny Deep signed up for that without reading a script. Well, for No.5, they certainly didn’t bother writing one. I’m certainly not in a rush for No.6.
Finally, a few bits I’ll mention, for which I’ll surround with a spoiler tag. These include some spoilery thoughts on the film, and first, a description of the post-credits scene.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge is available to pre-order on Blu-ray, 3D Blu-ray and DVD, and click on the poster for the full-size version.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 129 minutes
Studio: Walt Disney
Cinema: Odeon, Trafford Centre
Year: 2017
Format: 2.35:1 (Redcode RAW (6K)); 1.90:1 (IMAX 3D version)
Released: May 25th 2017
Rating: 4.5/10
Directors: Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg
Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer
Screenplay: Jeff Nathanson (based on the story by Jeff Nathanson and Terry Rossio, and characters created by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie and Jay Wolpert)
Music: Geoff Zanelli
Cast:
Captain Jack Sparrow: Johnny Depp
Captain Salazar: Javier Bardem
Captain Hector Barbossa: Geoffrey Rush
Henry Turner: Brenton Thwaites
Carina Smyth: Kaya Scodelario
Gibbs: Kevin McNally
Shansa: Golshifteh Farahani
Scarfield: David Wenham
Scrum: Stephen Graham
Mullroy: Angus Barnett
Marty: Martin Klebba
Cremble: Adam Brown
Murtogg: Giles New
Will Turner: Orlando Bloom
Elizabeth Swann: Keira Knightley
Uncle Jack: Paul McCartney
Pike: Delroy Atkinson
Bollard: Danny Kirrane
Lieutenant Lesaro: Juan Carlos Vellido
Young Jack Sparrow: Anthony De La Torre
Young Pirate Jeff: Finn McLeod Ireland
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.