Wild Horse Nine comes from writer/director Martin McDonagh, so after the likes of In Bruges, The Banshees Of Inisherin, and Seven Psychopaths, you know you’re in safe hands.
NOTE: I *will* mention a key aspect of the plot in this review, which is not mentioned in the trailer, but it comes up very early into the film, and it’s difficult to talk about the film without mentioning it. Hence, if you don’t want to know anything, look away, now.
Set in 1973, it’s mostly a two-hander as John Malkovich (Joan Of Arc: The Messenger 4K Blu-ray Steelbook) and Sam Rockwell (Good Luck Have Fun Don’t Die), respectively, play CIA hitmen Chris and Lee, but time is moving on, and they find themselves heading to Easter Island – home of the Mo’ai aka “Big Heads” as Chris calls them – as he’d specifically told Lee that he wants to visit there, but can’t remember the reason.
That is because Chris has terminal cancer, and his time is coming to an end, but he wants to bow out on his own terms, and wants Lee to do the deed. Trouble is, he can’t remember that he asked Lee to carry this out, so how to broach the subject?
Because Chris’ condition isn’t making him think properly, he upsets fellow tourists Monica (Mariana Di Girolamo) and Alicia (Ailín Salas), from Santiago, Chile, who became friends after meeting at a protest rally, and now have to listen to Chris bad-mouth their country, telling them about how they ‘whack’ people, and “You’re country’s gonna get FUCKED!”
And this is at the airport!
Add in some more random encounters with the ladies, Steve Buscemi (Reservoir Dogs 4K Blu-ray Steelbook) as angry CIA boss MJ, Lee’s wife, Margie (Parker Posey – Thelma) is playing away – or as he calls it when he learns of the man’s profession – “fucking a clown”, plus Chris being estranged from his brother, Jim (Tom Waits – The Outsiders: Complete Novel Limited Edition 4K Boxset), following an altercation between them ten years earlier, when Jim threw a potato at him, after a heated discussion over the JFK assassination.
Also, between two people I won’t name, when the first sees trackmarks on the arm of the second:
- Person 1: “Are you a fucking junkie?”
Person 2: “No, I’m NOT a fucking junkie! I just like heroin.”
Wild Horse Nine also has many offbeat conversations between the two leads, such as with Chris telling Lee that places such as Switzerland and France are “gay countries” because they have the best cheeses.
However, it does still find time to bring the plot elements together, with some seemingly unrelated elements coming into play.
In fact, it’s so wordy that after what was a “Screen Unseen”, where you don’t know 100% for sure which film you’re watching – except for better people than me who can work out the clues, I definitely need to see it again. Another reason is the two complete arseholes I encountered in the audience. When there’s a separate front and back section of seating in an auditorium, I always flock to the front because it’s usually the bigger back area where such people end up. For me, the key seating section is the back of that area, because there’ll be no-one sat behind you, kicking your seat because they haven’t been taught how to sit properly on a seat.
This time round, a couple sat in front of me. But the worst is that they might occasionally chat or use their phone, and a quick word will stop both happening, surely?
Well, a few minutes before the film was revealed, the couple got up and appeared to be moving to the back area. This often happens, because the front section is a bit TOO close for most. They went round the back of me, I expected them to start heading up the stairs on the far side of the back seating, and…. they then came back to my row and sat right NEXT to me! Weird!
Because they’d just sat down, they’re huffing and puffing, sorting their bags out, and then the BBFC title card came up. Time for quiet? No. The bloke goes, “FUCK!”, and starts pissing about with his phone.
Totally took me out of the film’s atmosphere at first, but as I saw him get a seat map up elsewhere, I soon figured he was looking up a different film to watch, and then he left the room for a few minutes, leaving his other half behind. He then came back, and the pair left.
Thank fuck for that, but it still took me a while to settle afterwards, since they went to all that bollocks of moving back ONE ROW, just to leave anyway! Why not wait until you know the title and THEN decide!
Still, after that, this film could well be another of my favourites of the year, alongside Little Amélie or the Character of Rain and One Last Deal.
NOTE: There are no mid- nor post-credit scenes.
Wild Horse Nine is in cinemas now from Friday Novmeber 6th, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
However, you can buy the screenplay in paperback, and Kindle form.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 118 minutes
Release date: October 28th 2026
Studio: Searchlight Pictures
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 (ARRIRAW (4.6K))
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 9/10
Director: Martin McDonagh
Producers: Graham Broadbent, Pete Czernin, Anita Overland
Writer: Martin McDonagh
Composer: Carter Burwell
Cast:
Chris: John Malkovich
Lee: Sam Rockwell
MJ: Steve Buscemi
Monica: Mariana Di Girolamo
Alicia: Ailín Salas
Margie: Parker Posey
Jim: Tom Waits
Rosa: Paola Giannini
English Man: John Heffernan
English Woman: Poppy O’Shaughnessy
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.