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I.T. centres around family man Mike Regan (Pierce Brosnan) who’s going to unleash a new business that allows you to call for a jet plane in the same way that the average Joe calls out for an Uber taxi (exactly how you get a plane outside your front door is never explained, but then neither is how director John Moore found work again after 2013’s A Good Day To Die Hard).
Early on, a fancy video presentation goes completely wrong (like whoever signed up Dan Kay and William Wisher as screenwriters), save for the assistance of temp IT guy Ed Porter (James Frecheville), who sorts everything out, causing our lead to put a lot of trust in him (the same as whoever agreed to fund this to the tune of €11m.
Ed stares unhealthily at 17-year-old daughter, Kaitlyn (Stefanie Scott), but then she encourages him, too, because she’s young and naive. You also know he’s a bad guy because his home PC has about 9 monitors all stuck together at odd angles, the edges not matching up – rather like John Travolta’s Swordfish, and he’s got images on there of the Regan family, as well as hacking into their system to record slo-mo shots of Kaitlyn masturbating in the shower to rock msusic.
Yes, he’s the archetypal stalker, but just does it with a computer – hacks into their phone system, turns up uninvited, etc. It’s all done in a predictable way, so as he logs in, their control panels go all skee-wiff in exactly the same way they WOULDN’T for someone so competent at what they’re doing.
Frequently, the police have trouble finding evidence when allegations are made… yet any proper examination into electronic devices, or forensics where it counts, would provide the evidence anyone needs, but as it’s a movie, they jump to conclusions in a split-second. This is so dumb.
No movie cliche was left unturned. So many of them I can’t be bothered listing them all, but when Brosnan’s character is endlessly pleased with the technical wizardry of his house, can you guess where the climactic battle will take place?
Anna Friel turns up for a total of 5 mins with a dodgy US accent, as Mike’s wife, even though Pierce starts off with his own, but then goes into an OTT strong Irish accent. Ms Friel can be a great dramatic actress as she showed in Marcella, but clearly, she’s turned her hand to comedy, as I.T. is a joke.
Also doing themselves no favours is The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Trilogy’s Michael Nyqvist, who assists Regan, briefly.
John Moore, however, must be encased in carbonite for all eternity to make sure he never directs a film again, and anyone thinking of allowing him to direct should be locked up in a sanitorium for the rest of their days.
I can some this film up in one word, which is Ed’s actions, the direction, the lack of a script, the lack of originality: distasteful. Or to show one film it’s ripped off – it’s Fatal Attraction with computers. Which has probably been done before many times, yet I can’t remember the names of them anyway.
I.T. is also an odd choice for a film because, while it refers to Information Technology (which the house is stuffed with to the gills), it’s a difficult title to search for, as the first options all come up with variations on Stephen King’s It.
Switch this one off.
I.T. is released in cinemas this Friday, and is available to pre-order on Blu-rayand DVD, ahead of its release on May 1st. Also, click on the poster for the full-size version.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 92 minutes
Studio: The Movie Partnership
Year: 2017
Format: 2.35:1 (35mm)
Released: March 10th 2017
Rating: 0.5/10
Director: John Moore
Producers: Nicolas Chartier, Craig J Flores, David T Friendly and Beau St Clair
Screenplay: Dan Kay and William Wisher
Music: Timothy Williams
Cast:
Mike Regan: Pierce Brosnan
Ed Porter: James Frecheville
Kaitlyn Regan: Stefanie Scott
Rose Regan: Anna Friel
Patrick: Jason Barry
Henrik: Michael Nyqvist
George: Brian Mulvey
Joey: Martin ‘Mako’ Hindy
Joan: Clare-Hope Ashitey
Bloomberg Radio Guest: Michael Lysak
Andy: David McSavage
Heather: Olivia Romao
Sullivan: Adam Fergus
Lance: Austin Swift
Linda Martinez: Melissa Veszi
Eric: Fionn Walton
Lil Eva: Robyn Dempsey
Dr. Klein: Roy Nini
Detective Unrein: Jay Benedict
Detective Kayden: Eric Kofi-Abrefa
Detective Metzger: Bruce Lester Johnson
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.