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Dan Owen reviews

DAN'S   MOVIE   DIGEST

I s s u e # 1 1 3

1 8   N o v e m b e r   2 0 0 4

MOVIE NEWS

FAHRENHEIT 9/11½

Michael Moore told 'Variety' that he met with Harvey Weinstein and they plan to start working on Fahrenheit 9/11½.

Moore: "We want to get cameras rolling now and have it ready in two-three years. We want to document and commercialize it. Fifty-one percent of the American people lacked information (in this election) and we want to educate and enlighten them. They weren't told the truth. We're communicators and it's up to us to start doing it now. The official mourning period is over today and there is a silver lining - George W. Bush (right) is prohibited by law from running again."

Moore will also continue preparing his other film, Sicko, on the national health care industry. Moore says he and Weinstein are going ahead on the Oscar campaign for Fahrenheit 9/11 in the Best Picture category and other categories.

I AM LEGEND

Director Francis Lawrence (Constantine) is set to helm I Am Legend, the latest name attached to this long-gestating remake of The Omega Man.

BOND 21

Ewan MacGregor is the latest name to be heavily rumoured to take on the 007 role, while Colin Farrell has been tipped by ex-Bond Pierce Brosnan himself. Interestingly, director Martin Campbell, who helmed Goldeneye, is rumoured to have been approached to return to the franchise for Bond's next mission.

TOY STORY 3

'The Hollywood Reporter' says that 'Walt Disney Studios' is actively moving ahead with its sequel to Pixar Animation's two Toy Story movies.

'Disney' is apparently in the process of setting up its own in-house digital animation facility in Glendale that will be used for the production of Toy Story 3.

David Stainton, president of 'Walt Disney Feature Animation', is developing the sequel, as is Andrew Millstein, who headed the company's now-shuttered animation facility in Orlando and has already begun the process of recruiting animation heavyweights from rival animation studios and effects shops.

'Disney' CEO Michael Eisner said in October that Disney was actually working on two new sequels in the Toy Story series at the same time.

A spokeswoman for Disney elaborated, saying, "They're working on different story ideas with the hopes there will be a Toy Story 3 and another after that."


Cover

TRAILERS

Dark Water - Trailer 1 (link)

Don't tell me; sharks?
Nope.

Ships?
Nope.

Umm, scares?
Oh yes!

Goody! More info, please!
Right, Dark Water is another American remake of a recent Japanese horror hit, originally directed by the guy who made Ringu (remade as The Ring), and who is now directing the US remake Ring 2.

Ahh, so more signature psychological scares and creepy kids then?
Of course. In Dark Water, a mother and her young child move into an apartment block haunted by the spirit of a dead girl. Together they unravel the mystery surrounding her death, and its link with the water after their flat begins to flood.

Hmm, okay. So will it be better than the original?
Well, the cast are certainly very good - Jennifer Connelly (Requiem For A Dream), Pete Postlethwaite (The Usual Suspects) and John C Reilly (Boogie Nights), and there is the expected polish to the visuals... but it didn't strike me as being particularly engaging.

Ok, but one to watch?
Oh yes. After seeing the original, there is room for improvement - which I hope the remake realizes - but I don't see how they can top the original's absolutely heart-stopping sequence in the lift!

Cover

Son Of The Mask - Trailer 1 (link)

A sequel to Jim Carrey's The Mask, a full decade later?
Yes, indeed...

Is Jim Carrey in it?
Nope.

Who is?
Jamie Kennedy, Alan Cumming and Bob Hokins.

O-kay... so is this going to be good?
What do you think?

I think not.
You think right.

So I take it the trailer is bad?
That's putting it mildly. The original was a fantastic wish-fulfilment fantasy superhero movie, mixing Jim Carrey's physical gift for comedy, some excellent CGI and a mini gangster picture. It also gave the world Cameron Diaz, and her infamous entrance scene... aaahhh...

So the sequel does away with all that?
Sadly yes. The director of Cats & Dogs (yes, someone THAT talented) is giving us a terrible eyesore of crappy effects and ridiculously OTT set design. Remember the headache after watching The Cat In The Hat? Get the aspirin ready...

Okay, get it all off your chest...
Where to start. The plot has a baby endowed with The Mask's abilities - cue lots of very unbelievable "super baby" bouncing around the house. Ugh. The family's pet dog (in a clear riff on the original's Milo - it's even the same breed) puts The Mask on - cue bad Tom & Jerry styled malarkey between pooch and baby.

Jamie Kennedy (idiot from Scream franchise) puts The Mask on. Cue Kennedy doing a bad Jim Carrey impression with a terrible costume. There is also a bonkers subplot with the Norse God Odin (Hoskins) despatching God Of Mischief Loki (Cumming) to get The Mask back. Cue Alan Cumming doing his best Jim Carrey impression while erasing all goodwill gathered from X-Men 2.

Throw in some trite set-design that genuinely believes we all want to see the world as a Dr Seuss cartoon (even after The Grinch and Cat In The Hat burned in hell), and leave to flounder next year amongst terrible reviews and the world baying for Kennedy's blood. Truly, truly awful.

One to avoid then?
Don't try and be clever. I was a fan of 1994's The Mask, but even I knew to leave it alone without Jim Carrey on board. The turkey of 2005 has been revealed early...


Cover

US TOP 10 (CINEMA)

All figures are weekend box-office gross.

UK TOP 10 (CINEMA)


Cover ** IN THE PIPELINE **

All dates are U.K release dates, and are subject to change.

  • November 2004: The Polar Express (26), Bad Santa (26)
  • December 2004: The Incredible (3), Blade Trinity (10), Phantom Of The Opera (10)

    Page Content copyright © Dan Owen, 2004.

    Email Dan Owen

    Visit Dan Owen.blogspot.com

    The following is a list of Dan's Movie Digests online :

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