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Bade Miyan Chote Miyan was the first Bollywood film I’ve ever watched, the trailer drawing me in because it came across as not just an over-the-top action film, but morelike TEN, given how much is going on in it. And that is played out in the film, itself, because while I thought it might be difficult to fill three hours, it does do exactly what it says on the tin.
Plus, despite the fact that it takes almost three hours to tell its tale, it doesn’t particularly feel like it’s outstaying its welcome, from an initial scene where a bizarre individual with seemingly superhuman powers has stolen a government machine, which he states can cut through the heart of India. He claims he is the Doom which can alter the country’s past, present and future and wipe the country off the map within the next three days, so he talks a big game. But unlike the average courier company in 2024, can he actually deliver?
The length of the film is obvious when you realise that we then go back 8 years to introduce our leads – Freddy (Akshay Kumar – Unlocked) and Rocky (Tiger Shroff) – in a near-30-minute scene, saving a bunch of hostages in Afghanistan, with some godawful CGI that looks like an FMV scene from a videogame made in 2000!
After that, we learn that the once-disgraced pair were once court-martialled for something they did… but the hostage situation is not where it happened, so this leads to another 20-30 minute scene of butt-kicking to explain that. Hence, there’s probably too much going on for the average Hollywood actioner, but I see this film just tells each tale for as long as it wants to.
I did start to flag a bit after just over an hour, as I’d already watched two films – Back To Black, and Civil War – but then perked back up, and my attention was wholly kept for the duration. Yes, it is a bit too long, but given that they have a ten-minute interval approximately halfway through (the two halves being around 90 and 85 minutes long), it’s more like a two-parter put up on the screen.
Plus, we’re also given a triple-header of badass babes in Alaya F, as thigh-boot wearer Pam, Manushi Chhillar as Misha, and Sonakshi Sinha as Captain Priya Dixit, all of whom have their part to play in dealing with the main baddie, whose identity I obviously don’t want to reveal, because that’s the point in watching the film.
This is the first Bollywood film I’ve ever seen, and I gave it a go because (a) I’m on Odeon’s Limitless, so it cost nothing extra to watch it and so it was worth a punt, and (b) as I mentioned, the trailer made it action-packed, and it pretty much delivers on that.
I presumed traditional Bollywood films throw in a lot of music and dancing, but for Bade Miyan Chote Miyan – the title of which is derived during one of the flashback scenes amongst a humourous exchange, we get one for the opening credits, and another that comes after the interval. There are also more, but these come during the closing credits.
There was no indication on Odeon’s site that this contained an interval, so I wasn’t expecting one, but now I know that the length quoted on the site does not include that break. Still, as soon as the end credits, the entire audience was quickly up on their feet. I thought they’d come from the song and dances as well? Hey ho.
I see Bade Miyan Chote Miyan has had not-great reviews because in one case, “The story is astonishingly hollow“, but it’s not MEANT to be Shakespeare, it’s just a completely mad action movie and with some good laughs in it, which a lot of modern Hollywood movies leave out!
Additionally, I was surprised that there’s some English AND Hindi within the same sentence that’s spoken by some characters, as well as within an ongoing conversation. How does that happen? Again, it’s my first Bollywood film, so maybe this is a thing.
Finally, perhaps Bade Miyan Chote Miyan has opened up a new type of film for me to watch, since we were given a trailer for Kill, coming later this year, which wouldn’t have been shown before an English-language film, but basically looked like John Wick on a train, so I’ll definitely check that out.
Now, when are we getting the sequel for this one?
Bade Miyan Chote Miyan is in cinemas now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 164 minutes (+ interval)
Release date: April 10th 2024
Studio: Pooja Entertainment
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 (X-OCN XT)
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 7.5/10
Director: Ali Abbas Zafar
Producers: Jackky Bhagnani, Vashu Bhagnani, Deepshika Deshmukh, Himanshu Kishan Mehra, Ali Abbas Zafar
Screenplay: Aditya Basu, Ali Abbas Zafar
Music: Vishal Dadlani, Joshilay, Vishal Mishra, Julius Packiam, Shekhar Ravjian
Cast:
Freddy: Akshay Kumar
Rocky: Tiger Shroff
Kabir (Mr. X): Prithviraj Sukumaran
Pam (Dr Parminder Bawa): Alaya F
Misha: Manushi Chhillar
Captain Priya Dixit: Sonakshi Sinha
Colonel Adil Shekhar Azad: Ronit Roy
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.