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Nosferatu opens with Ellen Hutter (Lily-Rose Depp) inadvertently waking up local oddity Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgård – The Crow (2024)), not directly, but simply complaining about being lonely, which he picks up from a distance …
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Category: Cinema films
My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of BABYGIRL!
Babygirl opens with the sound of moaning… No, it’s not Nicole Kidman – as Roma – doing the do, but me complaining about yet another cinema movie being shot in 2.00:1, the aspect ratio that …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of A REAL PAIN!
A Real Pain is a comedy/drama which has taken almost a year to reach UK cinemas since it first premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2024. The two leads – Benji (Kieran Culkin – …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of MARIA!
# Mariaaaaaa! I just watched a film called Mariaaaaaa! # This new movie goes into the final week of the life of Opera sensation Maria Callas, before she passed away on September 16th 1977, at …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of BETTER MAN!
Better Man shows us Robbie Williams as he sees himself, a CGI monkey, because he never felt like he’d fully evolved. The film starts off in 1982, singing along to Frank Sinatra on the TV …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3!
Sonic The Hedgehog 3 is, as the title would suggest, a tertiary trip to Green Hills, in a movie franchise which has bucked the trend for most videogames-turned-big-screen-experiences, taking far more than its Christmas competitor, …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of QUEER!
Queer sees Daniel Craig leaving James Bond behind, and taking a trip to Mexico to make like The Flintstones and have a gay old time! This William S Burroughs adaptation opens with an unexpectedly welcome …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE WAR OF THE ROHIRRIM!
The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim, with the last word sounding like it’s pronounced “Rim”, is set 183 years before the main The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Warner Brothers …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of KRAVEN THE HUNTER!
Kraven The Hunter gets off to a bad start, proving that the best thing about this long-unawaited superhero film is beginning by nicking Basil Poledouris’ theme from The Hunt for Red October, as the titular …
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My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of CONCLAVE!
Conclave is the process is voting for a new Head of the Catholic Church, since the Pope is dead, and a new one must be elected. Cardinal Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes – The Menu) is tasked …
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