Citadel – The DVDfever Review – Amazon Prime Video – Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Richard Madden

Citadel is a new six-part Prime Video series centered around the titular organisation who are like the FBI on acid.

We begin on a train in the Italian Alps – although, it does look more like a CGI version – and Nadia Sinh (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) is on board looking for a baddie with enriched unobtanium that’s going to go “tick, tick, boom”, or something. Ms CJ exudes sex appeal, which does make me laugh that she’s married to one of the Jonas brothers, a band who were known, upon forming as a music entity, for their purity rings, i.e. they had never done it with a lady.

Still, back at base and guiding her along is Citadel tech genius Bernard, prnounced Ber-narrrd, played by Stanley Tucci as Stanley Tucci. So, thanks to this ‘Q’, her compact can track a target a mile away, the perfume is a localised explosive.

“What about the lipstick?”, she asks… Of course, that’s just lipstick.

But there’s not just her, since Mason Kane (Richard MaddenBodyguard) is on hand. They have to work together and clearly have a love/hate relationship, pretending to whisper sweet nothings at each other as they look around for the target. But when setting off in slo-mo pursuit, she has her cleavage push up to the max, while Madden’s in a suit and white shirt, doing his best audition for the next James Bond. Actually, he wouldn’t be a bad suggestion.

The last time they had a Scottish Bond, I understand he was very popular, although every right-thinking individual knows that the best Bond was Roger Moore. It’s a scientific fact. There’s no actual evidence for it, but it is a scientific fact.

But back to this, and when tracking the target down, it only takes a bit of “You know what’s going to happen now” chat before fisticuffs and shooticuffs begin, leading to a dance round the train’s toilet, which has a lot more room than the average British Rail carriage.

However, there’s a bigger game at play. Given their do-gooder actions, they’re going to attract enemies who want to vanquish the entire organisation from the surface of the Earth.

After both alighting from the train via unconventional means (although probably conventional for a secret agent), we move forward 8 years, and see Mason still hasn’t had a shave, but does have a family. After all this time, there’s nuclear codes out and about and Ber-narrd wants to get the band back together in order to save the world, etc etc.

Of the six episodes in the series, the first three were available for preview. I’ve seen all of these, and while it’s fun to see PCJ and Madden swinging around the room with weapons like Mr & Mrs Smith,
but so far, it does feel like a lot more money has been spent on the CGI machine than the script. At least it’s better than most of Daniel Craig’s 007 outings, but then for me, those were not a high bar to clear.

I will watch the rest, but at this point, I’ll probably wait until they’re all online and watch them together.

FINALE UPDATE (spoiler-free, but I’ll put it behind a spoiler-header):

Spoiler Inside SelectShow

Thanks to our friends at Prime Video for the screener prior to release.

Trailer posted: April 18th 1.30
Updated with spoiler-free review: April 27th 23.00
Updated with final spoiler-free review: May 26th 8:00

Citadel is on Prime Video from Friday April 28th. Two episodes are available on day one, with the rest added weekly.

Citadel – Official Trailer – Amazon Prime Video

Running time: 40 minutes per episode (6 episodes)
Release date: April 28th 2023
Studio: Prime Video
Format: 2.39:1

Series Directors: Newton Thomas Sigel, Jessica Yu, Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Creators: Bryan Oh, David Weil, Josh Appelbaum
Writers: Bryan Oh, David Weil, Josh Appelbaum, Lauren Wilkinson, Jesse Alexander, Melissa Glenn, Angela Russo-Otstot, André Nemec, Jeff Pinkner, Scott Rosenberg
Music: Alex Belcher

Nadia Sinh: Priyanka Chopra Jonas
Mason Kane: Richard Madden
Abby Conroy: Ashleigh Cummings
Bernard Orlick: Stanley Tucci
Dahlia Archer: Lesley Manville
Grace: Nikki Amuka-Bird
Anders Silje: Roland Møller
Davik Silje: Roland Møller
Carter Spence: Osy Ikhile
Hendrix Conroy: Caoilinn Springall
Vincenzo: Ivo Nandi
Gregor Yovanovich: Lev Gorn
Duke: Leo Woodall
Italian Doctor: Gianfranco Terrin
Pearline: Alison Halstead
Gregor’s Handler: Spencer Mulligan
Valeria: Gráinne Good
Security Guard: Ethan Moorhouse
Therapist Simmons: Timothy Busfield
Balduino Basto: Sen Monro
Yamazaki: Leo Ashizawa
Secretary McCulough: Peter Gerety
Restaurant Hostess: Xavilaine Hincapie
Christiano: Pedro Leandro