Dumplin’ leads the new cinema releases December 7th 2018

This week, there are SEVEN new films out for you to choose from, led by Dumplin’. Here are the titles, with more info below:

    Once Upon A Deadpool
    Mortal Engines
    White Boy Rick
    The Old Man and the Gun
    Sorry to Bother You
    Tulip Fever

Dumplin’ is the nickname given by Rosie Dickson (Jennifer Aniston) to her daughter, Willowdean (Danielle Macdonald), who is a plus-size woman, while Rosie is a former beauty queen.

This prompts Willowdean to sign up for her mother’s Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant as a protest that escalates when other contestants follow her footsteps, revolutionising the pageant and their small Texas town.

The script is an adapted screenplay by Kristin Hahn based on Julie Murphy’s No.1 New York Times bestselling novel of the same name.

Dumplin’ looks like a good laugh, based on this trailer, and anyone who knows me knows what a big fan of Ms Aniston I am, so I’m very much looking forward to this, and it’s on Netflix.

Director: Anne Fletcher
Screenplay: Kristin Hahn
Novel: Julie Murphy
Also stars: Odeya Rush, Dove Cameron, Bex Taylor-Klaus, Luke Benward, Harold Perrineau

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!

Once Upon A Deadpool takes all the excellence of Deadpool 2, attempts to tame it down for a 12-certificate (boooo!), or PG-13 in the US, but then adds in vignettes featuring Fred Savage, aka Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years and The Princess Bride. Yaaaaaay!

Note, that these vignettes are relating to his performance in The Princess Bride, but while I’m not so familiar with that film, I was a massive fan of The Wonder Years, and couldn’t get enough of that show. Despite Kevin Arnold growing up 20 years in time before me, he went through every last one of the problems I encountered while being a teenager.

But, back to this, and Ryan Reynolds said he’d never make a version which was suitable for children, so why has he? Because it’s for charity, and there’s more info about how this came about at The Playlist.

However, as for the certificate, I did say “attempts to tame…” as it’s also been confirmed by the BBFC that while it’s a PG-13 in the US, it’s still a 15-certificate in the UK, and will run for 117 minutes and 33 seconds, so down a bit from the theatrical cut of 119 minutes and 12 seconds, but obviously shorter than the extended “SUPER DUPER $@%!#& CUT” which is 128 minutes and 26 seconds.

BUT… as much as I want to see this, it’s ONLY showing on Tuesday next week (December 11th) and, it seems, for just ONE SINGLE SCREENING, so if you don’t pre-order then you’re going to miss out, and… given what a hassle the idiots at 20th Century Fox have made of this, I think I’ll just wait to watch it at home. If they have any sense, they’ll rush it out as a digital download, since they’ve left it too late to get Blu-rays and DVDs out in time for Christmas.

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!

Mortal Engines takes place many years after the “Sixty Minute War,” where cities survive a now-desolate Earth by moving around on giant wheels attacking and devouring smaller towns to replenish their resources.

Just watching this teaser, you know Peter Jackson‘s involved, even if it’s just a producer and co-screenwriter role rather than director. It also says it’s the start of a new saga, so get ready for a trilogy? Either way, while I don’t know the novel, it looks well cool.

Going from last December’s teaser to this trailer, you know Peter Jackson‘s involved, even if it’s just a producer and co-screenwriter role rather than director. It also says it’s the start of a new saga, so get ready for a trilogy? Either way, while I don’t know the novel, it looks well cool.

One final point: This film isn’t out on the Friday, but is on SATURDAY, i.e. December 8th. By doing this, they can actually cash in on a 9-day “weekend”, given the odd way these things work, which I’ve mentioned countless times before. This is the longest ‘weekend’ that a film can have. Release a film in the right week and you can cash-in on an easy No.1… but there’s too much competition in the run-up to Christmas.

In fact, it could’ve hit the heights this weekend, but it certainly won’t when it does qualify, since Aquaman is released next Wednesday.

Director: Christian Rivers
Screenplay: Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens and Fran Walsh (based on the novel by Philip Reeve)
Stars: Hugo Weaving, Robert Sheehan, Stephen Lang, Jihae, Joel Tobeck, Colin Salmon, Hera Hilmar

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!

White Boy Rick has a simple premise, but looks a great drama, as it tells the true story of teenager Richard Wershe Jr (Richie Merritt, who’s so new that he doesn’t even have a photo on IMDB!), who became an undercover informant for the FBI during the 1980s and was ultimately arrested for drug-trafficking and sentenced to life in prison.

Director: Yann Demange
Writers: Andy Weiss, Logan Miller, Noah Miller
Also stars: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Matthew McConaughey, Eddie Marsan, Rory Cochrane, Brian Tyree Henry, Bruce Dern, Bel Powley, Piper Laurie, RJ Cyler, Brad Carter

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Hit!

The Old Man and the Gun is based on the true story of Forrest Tucker (Robert RedfordAll Is Lost), and his audacious escape from San Quentin at the age of 70 to an unprecedented string of heists that confounded authorities and enchanted the public. Wrapped up in the pursuit are detective John Hunt (Casey Affleck), who becomes captivated with Forrest’s commitment to his craft, and a woman (Sissy Spacek), who loves him in spite of his chosen profession.

Redford looks like he has the charm to pull the character off, and it’s nice to see Ms Spacek again, but it does look rather lightweight, although I think it’s meant to be. That said, now he’s 82, and thanks to the cosmetic surgery on his eyes, he just looks weird.

Writer/Director: David Lowery (based on an article by David Grann)
Also stars: Elisabeth Moss, John David Washington, Danny Glover, Keith Carradine, Tika Sumpter, Tom Waits

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Maybe!

Sorry To Bother You is a comedy set in an alternate present-day version of Oakland, where black telemarketer Cassius Green (Get Out‘s Lakeith Stanfield) discovers a magical key to professional success… basically, putting on your ‘white’ voice, thanks to colleague Langston (Danny Glover), and his success pushes him up the corporate ladder and propels him into a macabre universe.

This didn’t look particularly funny, so I’d like to be in an alternate universe where this film doesn’t exist… so, it DID bother me.

Writer/Director: Boots Riley
Also stars: Tessa Thompson, Armie Hammer, Patton Oswalt, Steven Yeun, Terry Crews, David Cross, Omari Hardwick, Marcella Bragio, Tom Woodruff Jr

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!

Tulip Fever stars Christoph Waltz (Spectre) as artist Cornelis Sandvoort, who falls for young, married Sophia (Ex Machina‘s Alicia Vikander, right, with Waltz) while he’s commissioned to paint her portrait during the tulip mania of 17th century Amsterdam.

Directed by Justin Chadwick (The Other Boleyn Girl, Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom), with a screenplay by Tom Stoppard, based on the Deborah Moggach novel, this also features Dane DeHaan, Zach Galifianakis, Holliday Grainger, Tom Hollander, Jack O’Connell, Kevin McKidd, Judi Dench, David Harewood, Matthew Morrison and, for some reason, Cara Delevingne, but while there’s a mostly good cast on show, it looks pretty dull.

DVDfever will NOT be getting Tulip Fever when it’s released, which was originally July 15th last year for the US, but has been put back to August 27th THIS year. There’s still no UK date as of yet, but it’s very telling that this has been sat on the shelf for two-and-a-half years since the International Trailer was released.

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!