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Fortitude Episode 12 signals the end of ‘Eldorado In The Arctic‘ – bad acting, random accents and disjointed storylines. Yes, it’s the 1992 soap all over again!
Vincent’s still trapped inside with Dr Allerdyce and she’s looking none too clever. Being a doctor won’t help her now.
Worst still, those flies aren’t flies – they’re parasitic wasps. Yes, the truth comes out now while the scriptwriters are scratching around for ideas to try and find some meaning for bringing this tosh to our screens… And they’re stinging the man to high heaven. And when Natalie asks Dan how they can kill them without killing Vincent, you know instantly that it’s game over for him… well, it should be. Depends on whether he’s signed a contract to appear in any future series.
He spies a way to release gas inside the room – burn off enough and problem will be solved. Sort-of. It just requires Vincent to set things in motion amongst the CGI wasps and blow himself up. Couldn’t have happened to a bigger sap. A big explosion, everyone diving for cover – except Vincent who resigns himself to his fate and holds up a lighter like Nicolas Cage holding up the flare in similar desperation towards the end of The Rock, a quick tracheotomy later and the man is saved. All the wasps are dead and as for the good doctor… no. She’s gone.
Michael Obiara and Yuri are out and about with the ice drill searching for specific co-ordinates when Eric turns up and ends up in a Mexican stand-off with the Russian, while Obiara buggers off on the cop’s skidoo. An attempt to get one over Eric results in Yuri coming off worse as his gun clicks and he gets a bop on the nose for his trouble. A stupid attempt at a punch-up later and once they’ve finished willy-waving, Yuri declares it’s impossible for the governor to build her glacier hotel because the glacier keeps moving. So a drunk notices that, yet all the architects in the world didn’t?!
They continue to beat each other into next week – Yuri thinking nothing of losing a couple of teeth in the process, despite clearly having a full set when he’s seen lying down on the ground. It turns out, you see, that Pettigrew was killed for the map he’s just brought out into the open, and that’s the treasure he’s looking for.
Sending himself down the well, Yuri proves that the winch wasn’t well-made as the cable snaps and sends him plunging down to the bottom of godknowswhere. Good, what a dick that guy is.
Hildur catches up with Jason, but he’s not saying much. For no apparent reason, they meet in the now-seemingly abandoned supermarket. He eventually speaks to tell her where she can find the mammoth.
Natalie declares that the wasps are prehistoric creatures known as “ichneumonidae”. They stayed buried in the permafrost for many a moon, then thawed and found somewhere to hatch out inside a host after a wasp injects eggs into the human bloodstream, the eggs develop, they compel the host to find a victim, who hacks up their stomach, vomits inside , larvae develope inside the doctor and then more wasps erupt later on. Markus doesn’t believe her theory, however, and blames himself.
Elena is seen praying to a praying statue whilst chucking up outside. Well, she’s been stuck in a house with Rotting Ronnie for what seems like weeks. She then heads back to the police station where she was quizzed by Dan about seeing anyone, as well as having any plans to leave Fortitude. She also ‘sees’ Frank, asking for her forgiveness. Her brain’s gone a bit weird, clearly.
She takes herself home and handcuffs herself to her bed – what if she needs the loo??
Go to page 2 to see if she needs a whiz! (and for more thoughts on the episode, plus a look at all those storylines which went nowhere!)
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.