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Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire makes this sound like it’s intended to be the jumping-off point for several more films, even with this being the fifth in the current run.
I really enjoyed the 1998 Godzilla film from Roland Emmerich – which ended up as a standalone movie after it wasn’t a massive success and there wasn’t so much interest from others to see any more – but thought the 2014 movie was dire, as it was halfway through before Godzilla turned up!
I haven’t been impressed with any of the latest lot, other than Kong: Skull Island being watchable. I loved Adam Wingard‘s The Guest, but like Ben Wheatley with Meg 2, the 2021 film felt like they get a director capable of a unique vision in their work, but then just let the studio pump out any old shit, and they have nothing to do with it.
The recent Japanese-made Godzilla Minus One was good during the action scenes, but when the big G wasn’t onscreen, it was dull.
This time round, things start promisingly enough, in Hollow Earth, with Kong battling a number of underground wolves before splitting one in two, getting covered in green blood and showering under waterfall. However, he needs a dentist. there are none down there, but Trapper Beasley (Dan Stevens with a dodgy Australian accent that keeps slipping) just happens to be on hand, AND is the ex-boyfriend to Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall) from Godzilla Vs Kong.
Her adopted, deaf daughter, Jia (Kaylee Hottle), finds herself drawing strange footprints which look like Kong’s, but once they see pictures of the real thing, “they’re not Kong’s” comes the observation. Additionally, there’s radio interference coming from an undetected, subterranean area in Hollow Earth. Surely, ALL of it is subterranean?!
Cue a team heading down there with Kong for a look-see, led by Alex Ferns (Andor), aka Trevor Morgan from Eastenders, so you always want him to get quickly bumped off. He’s in so many things, these days, but will it happen this time round?
Some random observations:
- Inbetween soujourns out to battle various monsters, Godzilla goes to sleep in the Rome Collesseum – as if he’d get left alone, there(!)
- The Kong tribe is just a bunch of ape shouting at each other. It’s like watching Celebrity Big Brother!
- Kong’s hurt his arm so gets a ridiculous ‘bionic arm’ attachment, that can implement itself. Yep, as if.
- Godzilla is once shown standing on the rock of Gibraltar, amongst the ridiculous amount of globetrotting.
And one potential spoiler…
On the plus side, Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire has a lot of IMAX scenes opening up to 1.90:1 for fights in Hollow Earth and on land, totalling 49 minutes.
On the downside, this film is Tedium in 3D. It’s just staggeringly boring. Towards the end, everything was kicking off, all the baddies punching each other to Kingdom come, it’s deafening… and I’m nodding off.
As an aside, during the end credits, there was a guy two seats down who asked if I write reviews, as he saw me making notes. I said yes, and he also told me he was an actor. Although he didn’t look familiar, I later thought I should’ve asked him what he’d been in, in case I recognised him in something. However, maybe it was better I didn’t, in case it wasn’t something I enjoyed.
For this film, he did enjoy it, and asked what I thought. I said the IMAX 3D visuals were great, but then I knew I wouldn’t be expecting a great plot. I didn’t want to shit all over it to him, and end up raining on his parade. However, I did recommend The Guest, which also brought together Dan Stevens with director Adam Wingard.
Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on 4K Blu-ray, Blu-ray and DVD, ahead of its release date TBA.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 115 minutes
Release date: March 29th 2024
Studio: Warner Bros
Aspect Ratio: 1.90:1 (IMAX: 49 mins), 2.39:1 (ARRIRAW (4.5K), Dolby Vision, Anamorphic Panavision, Spherical)
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 3/10
Director: Adam Wingard
Producers: Alex Garcia, Eric McLeod, Mary Parent, Brian Rogers, Thomas Tull
Screenplay: Terry Rossio, Simon Barrett, Jeremy Slater
Music: Antonio Di Iorio, Tom Holkenborg (Junkie XL)
Cast:
Ilene Andrews: Rebecca Hall
Bernie Hayes: Brian Tyree Henry
Trapper Beasley: Dan Stevens
Jia: Kaylee Hottle
Mikael: Alex Ferns
Iwi Queen: Fala Chen
Hampton: Rachel House
Harris: Ron Smyck
Jayne: Chantelle Jamieson
Lewis: Greg Hatton
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.