Masters Of The Universe poses an important question: Who the fuck is asking for a He-Man movie in 2026??
Well, clearly, someone thought this film could follow the fortunes of How To Train Your Dragon, since when we see Prince Adam as a child, it’s “How To Train Your He-Man“, with Idris Elba playing Idris Elba, aka Man-At-Arms, the head of security and adoptive father to Teela (Camila Mendes)… ah, adoptive. I wondered how a black man could sire a Brazillian girl.
Anyhoo, soon after – and clearly like Benjamin Netanyahu carrying out his Gaza Genocide, Eternia is easily attacked by Trap Jaw (Sam C Wilson – The Responder Series 2), because no-one’s bothered to install shields of any kind; and while it’s all being destroyed, The Sorceress (Morena Baccarin – Deadpool And Wolverine IMAX 3D) opens up a portal which could throw Adam anywhere… ending up in modern day Oklahoma – which made me wonder that given all the death and destruction going on, why didn’t they ALL just go through it?!
Although he’s told to never let go of his sword, naturally, he quickly loses it – meaning he no longer has the power – and spends the next 15 years looking for it, by which time he’s in his mid-20s in the form of a buff Nicholas Galitzine (The Sheep Detectives), living with a gay flatmate, an working in a very boring office job, with pronouns on his desk nameplate.
On the plus side, this led to an intstrumental version of The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry, along with a bit of the song proper, leading me to get out my air guitar in the auditorium. Alas, it starts to go a bit South from there, as his boss, Suzie (Sasheer Zamata – Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare), talks like no real superior ever would, telling him, “you need to get your shit together or you’ll be fired” – well, there’s an employment tribunal right there!
And from there, some of the dialogue took an unexpected turn, since because he’s crap at work, she tells him, she wants to give him a “ream job“… I bet your pardon?? Okay, so a verbal dressing down, but I wasn’t expecting that for a 12A-certificate.
And the same goes later on, when he’s back on Eternia, meeting up with everyone, saying he called one of them “Fisto” (Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson – Captain America: Brave New World), who responds, “I’ve never fisted anyone!”. Adam replies, “I saw you fist a goblin!”
Finbar Saunders would have a fit!
Later, there’s a weird scene when – after advertising online for the loss of his sword – he receives a text from a man who demands $300 for its return, which then makes no sense because it’s attached to a standee character in a comic bookshop – thus requiring Adam to wrestle it free from the unit, causing a hell of a commotion, only for the man to soon disappear without payment.
And that comes after Adam ‘getting his gay on’, by asking almost every man in the store “if they have his sword“.
However, while they’ve spent a lot of money on CGI – so the dosh is right up there on the screen – the film isn’t going to make much of it back, as it’s bombing at the box office. Who knew?
Like The Mandalorian And Grogu, Masters Of The Universe feeling like a 3-episode TV series told on the big screen. Similarly, I could see the joins where one episode ended and the next one started.
In fact, Masters Of The Universe feels like one of those dreams where you’ve imagined sitting through an entire movie, where in this case, someone is SERIOUSLY make a He-Man film in 2026, going to great lengths to shove in as many He-Man-like elements as possible regardless of whether there’s the time to fit them all in, while knowing that that can’t REALLY happen…. and then it did.
Additionally – in a dream-like state, in the present day Earth, when Adam’s arrested by the police, one of them calls him ‘Highlander’, which immediately made me think this film needs a Queen Soundtrack… and then later, Princes Of The Universe blares out!
Maybe someone could improve this by remixing the film by throwing in the Highlander soundtrack? Ooh, gives me an idea.
But… isn’t Skeletor meant to be menacing? Here, he’s played for laughs by Jared Leto (TRON: Ares IMAX 3D), like a bad comedy sidekick.
As of just after its first weekend, this $200m dumpster fire would need to recoup at least $500m at the box office. After its first weekend, its limped to a mere $54m. It’s a box-office bomb! Meanwhile, the $30m Scary Movie 6 has taken $105m in less time, as that came out on Friday, whereas He-Man was from last Wednesday!
Still, one last plus, there’s a great cameo I knew nothing about before it happened…
NOTE: There are two mid- and one post-credits scene, as per my video below.
Masters Of The Universe is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on 4K Blu-ray, 4K Blu-ray Steelbook, Blu-ray and DVD.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 141 minutes
Release date: June 3rd 2026
Studio: Amazon MGM Studios
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 (Anamorphic ALFA Scope, Anamorphic Apollo Scope, X-OCN XT (8.6K))
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 4/10
Director: Travis Knight
Producers: Todd Black, Jason Blumenthal, Robbie Brenner, DeVon Franklin, Steve Tisch
Screenplay: Chris Butler, Aaron Nee, Adam Nee, Dave Callaham
Music: Daniel Pemberton
Cast:
Adam/He-Man: Nicholas Galitzine
Teela: Camila Mendes
Duncan/Man-At-Arms: Idris Elba
Skeletor: Jared Leto
Evil-Lyn: Alison Brie
Fisto: Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson
Ram Man: Jon Xue Zhang
Trap Jaw: Sam C Wilson
Queen Marlena: Charlotte Riley
King Randor: James Purefoy
The Sorceress: Morena Baccarin
Roboto: Kristen Wiig (voice)
Dian: Christiaan Bettridge
Young Adam: Artie Wilkinson-Hunt
Young Teela: Eire Farrell
Mekaneck: James Wilkinson
Macho-Man: Dolph Lundgren
Tri-Klops: Kojo Attah
Karg: Hung Dante Dong
Spikor: James Apps
Goat Man: Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson
Pig Boy: Arun Bassi
Hussein: Christian Vunipola
Suzie: Sasheer Zamata
Officer Black: Max Kraus
Officer Blumenthal: Kelly Coughlin
Julie: Elena Rivers
Moss Man: Stephen Adentan
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.