The Sheep Detectives presents us with Wolverine reading murder mysteries to a flock of CGI sheep, who he HOPES are actually listening to what he’s saying, but isn’t sure.
In reality, they’re fully engrossed in the plot, including Lily (Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Thunderbolts), who always thinks “the maid did it”, even when the story doesn’t have a maid, and Patrick Stewart‘s Sir Ritchfield is just Patrick Stewart.
However, despite coming across as very intelligent, they also think that when they die, they turn inro clouds.
The sheep are all born in Spring, except one who was recently born in winter, effectively “the black sheep of the family”, leading to the others not liking him, while amongst the humans, shop owner Beth Pennock (Hong Chau – Wuthering Heights) runs the local festival, even though it’s only a handful of tables, alienates journalist Elliot Matthews (Nicholas Galitzine – Bottoms), who comes to check the festival out, and for some unknown reason, she hates Wolverine (Hugh Jackman).
But when our lead is found brown bread, and it’s suspected that he was murdered, can the town’s sole – and inept – cop, Officer Tim Derry (Nicholas Braun – Splitsville), solve the case? There’s plenty of suspects, given how the dead man’s alienated several people along the way, but if it’s the sheep that solve it, how can they communicate this to the humans?
The Sheep Detectives has a few laughs – such as the opening MGM lion logo sounding off with a sheep “Baa-ing”, and two sheep struggling to cross a road, when they see a chicken stroll past and walk across without a second thought – but not as many as it should have, and the whole thing is so drawn out. Such a film should be done and dusted in 90 minutes, not 110, dragging out how long it takes to get going.
Still, once it eventually comes to regular telly, it’ll be one of those lazy family films that hangs around in weekend afternoon slots for the next 20 years.
It’s also shot in a stupid 2.00:1 aspect ratio, which is going to lead to windowboxing on the cinema screen, as a lot of people will have experienced with Project Hail Mary, and it’s a situation I’ve described countless times. Cinemas could fix this, but they can’t be bothered.
NOTE: There is a brief post-credits moment, as per my video below. As usual, I was the only person left in the cinema to witness it.
The Sheep Detectives is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on Blu-ray and DVD.
You can also buy the novel on which the film is based, Three Bags Full.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 110 minutes
Release date: May 8th 2026
Studio: Sony Pictures Releasing
Aspect Ratio: 2.00:1 (Anamorphic Ultra Panavision 70, X-OCN ST (8.6K))
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 3/10
Director: Kyle Balda
Producers: Tim Bevan, Lindsay Doran, Eric Fellner
Screenplay: Craig Mazin
Novel: Leonie Swann (Three Bags Full)
Music: Christophe Beck
Cast:
George Hardy: Hugh Jackman
Beth Pennock: Hong Chau
Officer Tim Derry: Nicholas Braun
Rebecca Hampstead: Molly Gordon
Lydia Harbottle: Emma Thompson
Caleb Merrow: Tosin Cole
Ham Gilyard: Conleth Hill
Elliot Matthews: Nicholas Galitzine
Lily: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Sir Ritchfield: Patrick Stewart
Cloud: Regina Hall
Zora: Bella Ramsey
Mopple: Chris O’Dowd
Wool-Eyes: Rhys Darby
Sebastian: Bryan Cranston
Ronnie / Reggie: Brett Goldstein
Daisy: Aroop Shergill
Oliver: Jasper Ambrose
Pickles: Ishi Agrawal
The Winter Lamb: Tommy Birchall
Reverend Hillcoate: Kobna Holdbrook-Smith
Postwoman Jo: Mandeep Dhillon
Tonia the Tow Truck Driver: Sarah Flind
Fainting Sheep: Laraine Newman
Frank the County Police Officer: Michael Wildman
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.