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Our Little Secret is a Christmas-based romcom, the sort of idea that’s usually ten-a-penny at this time of year, but it has Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls 2024), and that’ll do for me.
And if a film is bad, it can’t be any worse than “doing it just for the money” that is Paddington in Peru.
The daft premise is partly that this is yet another film which assumes that whole families spend an entire Christmas season under one roof. Certainly hasn’t happened in my world for many moons. I have vague recollections of my grandparents coming to stay for a few days at a time when I was very young, but not past the age of 6 or 7.
In American films, it happens even when everyone is a grown adult and should know better.
And in this case, it has two exes having to bump into each other, because reasons of plot, since Avery (Lohan) and Logan (Ian Harding – Le Mans 66 (aka Ford v Ferrari)) first met in 1996, in a very brief intro, but fast-forward to December 2014, they have an argument in full view of everyone, Logan leaves and that’s that for 10 years.
Both are now involved with other people – whose characters haven’t been developed beyond basic facets, but when the two meet at this family situation, it’s painfully obvious that they know each other, so the pretence that they don’t stretches credibility beyond breaking point.
There’s a well-worn side-plot point when Avery eats some sweets, without realising they have cannabis in them, has to then give a reading in church, and starts to blurt out Kool And The Gang’s lyrics to Celebration, in a brief scene that gets on better than expected.
However, there is a scene at the vet’s surgery which gets beyond clichéd and stupid. Still, in 2024, how come their computer in there is still powered by Windows XP?!
There’s smatterings of humous, such as when Avery catches sight of Erica’s (Kristin Chenoweth – Wicked) family portraits, “Why doesn’t she age? It’s like a horror movie!”
It’s also quite amusing that when going to buy a Xmas tree for the house, no-one bothered to put any fake snow on the ground – other than a liberal sprinkling, so it’s clearly shot during summer!
Good to see Mission Impossible‘s Henry Czerny popping up as Avery’s Dad, Mitchell, but may this was filmed at the same time as the 7th film, since blink and you’ll miss him!
It’s a good job Our Little Secret hasn’t been shown in cinemas, since for whatever reason, director Stephen Herek – best known for Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure, dicks around with the aspect ratio. It’s 2.39:1 for the film in general, but is in 1.85:1 for the intro explanation about the twosome, as well as the opening and closing credits. Why?!
As such, if shown in cinemas, it would be treated as a 1.85:1 film, and since most cinema screens are 2.39:1, you’d end up with most of the film showing windowboxed with black bars all around. Still, let’s just hope it was known this would intended as a home release.
(Ok, so Herek also brought us Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead, with Christina Applegate)
At the end of the day, Our Little Secret is one that I figured will come out at some point, because it’s that kind of film. Will it, though? Either way, the cast makes the best of the script that they can, and as for the film… I didn’t hate it.
I guess that’s damning with faint praise, but then for all the good intentions had by those making this film, they do know they weren’t exactly acting our Shakespeare.
Thanks to our friends at Netflix for the screener prior to release.
Our Little Secret is on Netflix from today, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
Check out the trailer below:
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 101 minutes
Release date: November 27th 2024
Studio: Netflix
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 (1.85:1, some scenes)
Score: 3/10
Director: Stephen Herek
Producers: Mike Elliott, Lisa Gooding
Screenplay: Hailey DeDominicis
Music: Emily Bear
Cast:
Avery: Lindsay Lohan
Logan: Ian Harding
Erica: Kristin Chenoweth
Cameron: Jon Rudnitsky
Cassie: Katie Baker
Callum: Jake Brennan
Leonard: Dan Bucatinsky
Stan: Tim Meadows
Margaret: Judy Reyes
Sophie: Ash Santos
Mitchell: Henry Czerny
Cheryl: Bobbie Eakes
Ida: Melinda Tanner
Susan: Mim Drew
Veterinarian: Chris Parnell
Priest: Kurt Yue
Altar Boy: Nathan Alexander Tutterrow
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.