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Space Babies is the first episode of Series 14 of ‘New Who’… Oh, hang on, it’s no longer that.
Yes, it’s “Season 1”, because Russell T Davies is – for once in his life – sucking on a teat. Unfortunately, to spend more money on special effects and not scripts, the teat belonging to the ‘house of mouse’, namely, Disney.
But hey, even though before long, two ‘seasons’ will be in the can, but even RTD knows that it’s a good bet to keep David Tennant’s Doctor around, in case his ‘woke to infinity and beyond’ scripts have viewers turning off in droves.
And for those that aren’t ‘woke’, they might, instead, just be shit.
If we get any great scripts during Ncuti Gatwa‘s tenure as Doctor, I’ll bare my bottom in Dixons’ window!
At least the first episode shows Millie Gibson (Butterfly) rocking Chelsea boots, as she struggles to understand the police box situation, while for someone who is apparently Scottish, Gatwa doesn’t sound it at all.
Following a brief trip to the time of the dinosaurs, a Star Trek reference as if it can be watched by the Doctor Who‘s characters, the pair come across a baby farm, run by babies, who speak normally, so it’s Look Who’s Talking but with CGI to form their lips into words.
There’s also a monster running round in a rubber suit, reminding me of the awful Alien Vs Predator 2 – as that was basically the final fight. So, it’s an Alien copy, too.
The only other sign of real life appears to be accountant Jocelyn Sancerre (Golda Rosheuvel – Dune Part One), who’s been hanging the baby space station around for years. And that’s the plot.
This is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DREADFUL!
Given that it’s RTD in charge again, the cast is very diverse. The babies are all colours and creeds, Ncuti is black, Millie is white, and Joyce is somewhere inbetween. Plus, there’s a baby with a flamethrower. Jeez, can this shit get any worse? Even CBBC would turn their nose up at this!
At one point, Ruby ends up with what looks like sperm all over her face. Well, that’s RTD for you! I’m just surprised he recognised heterosexuality exists(!)
Oh, and as it’s Doctor Who, there’s a big red button, just waiting to be pushed. And how can something survive at just 1% of oxygen? You’d be severely brain-damaged, whether man or beast.
Yep, Space Babies is a fucking load of old wank. However, two episodes were released at the same time – or, ‘dropped’, as idiots refer to it – so on to The Devil’s Chord.
You can watch Space Babies on the BBC iPlayer.
You can also pre-order Season 1 on Limited Blu-ray Steelbook, Blu-ray and DVD, ahead of the release date of August 12th 2024.
Director: Julie Anne Robinson
Producer: Vicki Delow
Writer: Russell T Davies
Music: Murray Gold
Cast:
The Doctor: Ncuti Gatwa
Ruby Sunday: Millie Gibson
Jocelyn Sancerre: Golda Rosheuvel
Carla Sunday: Michelle Greenidge
Cherry Sunday: Angela Wynter
Eric: Mason McCumskey
Voice of Eric: Sami Amber
Poppy: Sienna-Robyn Mavanga-Phipps
Voice of Poppy: Shola Olaitan-Ajiboye
Voice of Sandra: Cadence Williams
Voice of Marcel: Param Patel
Voice of Adjani: Lonnee Archibong
Rico Trieste: Jesus Reyes Ortiz
Lucia Colasanto: Yasmine Bouabid
Bogeyman: Robert Strange
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.