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Stolen opens with a great sequence with Will Montomery (Nicolas Cage) committing a $10m heist with Vincent (Josh Lucas), seemingly unknowingly while being watched by the FBI, while partners-in-crime Riley (Malin Akerman) and Hoyt (M.C. Gainey) stay nearby in the getaway vehicle. During the ridiculously easy robbery, Vincent’s eyes fill with gold as he eyes up a huge stack of bars on the other side of an impassable barrier, but Will reminds him they’re just there for the money and they’re on the clock before the alarms go off.
After a subsequent kerfuffle in the street, Vincent ends up with a bullet in his leg – for which he blames Will – while Will has his own problems, being left behind with the money and into the custody of the cops. As such, out of his team, he is the only one who ends up in jail, for 8 years, but once he’s out he first heads to meet his daughter, Alison (Sami Gayle), to try and make amends after effectively abandoning her, while being harrassed by Keystone-like cops Harland (Danny Huston) and Fletcher (Mark Valley) – who have a couple of amusingly-written moments between themselves, who inform him, upon his release, that since he was the brains of the gang, the rest of them fell apart and Vincent put himself into an early grave.
Alas, no sooner has he said goodbye to his daughter, after an argument, and she is kidnapped by a blast from his past, leaving Will so mightily pissed off about it that it forces Cage to gnash his teeth aplenty, not because of the demands for the missing $10m, but because a reasonably interesting first half-hour is laid bare to a tedious plotline that follows, where The FBI don’t want to help because they think, like before he went to jail, he’ll just try to run rings around them; the daughter character does little but bawl her eyes out in the boot of a car and the majority of the characters could’ve been sketched out on the back of a fag packet.
Filmed in New Orleans during Mardi Gras time – well, shortly afterwards, between March and June 2011, with that event recreated for the movie, this had a couple of good things going for it because it saw the reunion of Con Air director Simon West with leading man Cage, as well as ‘Swamp Thing’ M.C. Gainey joining in, but Stolen is predictable and stupid in equal measure, the latter showing when he’s after the cab being driven by the baddie… so he finds it. Only it’s not that one. It’s a cab with the bad cab’s number sellotaped over the top of its own. Huh?!?
Stolen is out now in UK cinemas, but, like A Good Day To Die Hard, this is another film which was released R-rated in the US and is a 12A in the UK. Since an R usually equates to a 15- or an 18-cert in the UK, this indicates heavy censorship, although the detailed info on the BBFC’s website doesn’t state whether the film was pre-cut prior to submission. Either way, expect ‘Extended Cut’ to be released on Blu-ray and DVD, a few months down the line…
Cert: 
Running time: 96 minutes
Year: 2012
Released: March 22nd 2013
Widescreen: 2.35:1 (Super 35)
Rating: 4/10
Director: Simon West
Producers: René Besson, Matthew Joynes and Jesse Kennedy
Screenplay: David Guggenheim
Music: Mark Isham
Cast:
Will Montgomery: Nicolas Cage
Vincent: Josh Lucas
Tim Harland: Danny Huston
Riley Jeffers: Malin Akerman
Alison Loeb: Sami Gayle
Jacobs: Edrick Browne
Fletcher: Mark Valley
Reginald: Barry Shabaka Henley
Hoyt: MC Gainey
Rookie: JD Evermore
Aaron: Garrett Hines
Motorcycle Cop: Kevin Foster
Lefleur: Dan Braverman
Bertrand: Jon Eyez
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.