My BRUTALLY HONEST REVIEW of DOCTOR WHO: THE STORY AND THE ENGINE (Season 2 Episode 5)

The Story And The Engine

The Story And The Engine is the fifth episode of Season 2… or, perhaps Series 15 or Series 45.

Oh, where to begin with this one? Doctor Who is massively tanking in the ratings, and on the verge of cancellation with even far less ratings than it had in 1989 when Sylvester McCoy was at the helm.

Meanwhile, the viewers have spoken in droves, and the unfortunate truth is that in recent times, if you put a female and/or black person in the role of the Doctor, they stop watching. Add an assistant of colour, and that reduces the numbers further.

So, a trip to Lagos, Nigeria, where there isn’t a white person to be found within a zillion miles. Plus, add in all the patois, and you’ll find that for anyone who doesn’t like subtitles, even more will switch off. The overnight ratings are already smacking hard on 1.5m, so I think this one’s taking a BIG fall, and could even go below 1m.


Ncuti Gatwa and Russell T Davies accept inevitable about Doctor Who…






As ol’ Doc arrives, he states that in this barbershop, he’s able to forget the fact that he’s black. Come on, lad, say it once, and say it loud: “I’m black and I’m proud!”

Still, he can’t forget that he’s the Doctor, since he stupidly told them all on a previous visit. I’d have kept schtum on that one, myself.

Unless he’s there to stop yet another barbershop from being a front for money laundering, I’d be more concerned with the fact that being gay or lesbian in Nigeria is illegal, and punishable by up to 14 years in prison. Try TARDIS’ing out of that one!

As for someone bringing flowers into a hospital, that’s actually no longer allowed, at least in those near me. They bring in bugs etc.

Oh, and Mrs Flood… blah, blah, blah…






This is another one-room episode, bar some basic scene-settings, so he clearly hasn’t gone anywhere other than London or Wales, and somehow, Doccy’s stories power some sort of engine, hence why the room’s going a bit weird.

For a time, it felt like it became the cafe at the end of Sapphire And Steel. Once you’re inside, there’s only space OUTside, even though he’s walked in and out many times before.

However, when the reveal finally came, it was so dull, I just didn’t care. And it didn’t make any sense. Spiders are bad, but one saw off a wasp in my house, so I’ll give that one a pass. The Doctor’s had a bad experience with wasps, too.

With brief references back to previous episodes in the series, it’ll probably result in the fanbois wanking into their socks, but for those of us with brains, it’s one to miss, especially with all the constant shouting in place of real dialogue.

Oh, and typically…

Spoiler Inside SelectShow

Even worse will be those people who are paying a small fortune to watch the last two episodes in the cinema. Wouldn’t be so bad if you could watch them at no extra cost with a subscription, but they class them as “Event Cinema”, and charge up to £20, even though nothing’s actually live, and like any other film they’re just sticking a hard drive in and cueing it up.

Regarding ratings, for Lucky Day, I guessed overnights of 1.5m, and I was right! The Story And The Engine deserves to sink under a million, but will probably buoy on 1.2m, at best.

The Story And The Engine on the BBC iPlayer, and on BBC1 at 7.10pm tonight.

Season 2 is available to pre-order on Blu-ray and DVD.

You can also buy Season 1 on Limited Blu-ray Steelbook, Blu-ray and DVD.


Doctor Who Season 2: The Story And The Engine – BBC


Score: A bad hair day for everyone… or wigs, in some cases.

Director: Makalla McPherson
Producer: Vicki Delow
Writer: Inua Ellams

Cast:
The Doctor: Ncuti Gatwa
Belinda Chandra: Varada Sethu
The Barber: Ariyon Bakare
Omo Esosa: Sule Rimi
Abena: Michelle Asante
Rashid Abubakar: Stefan Adegbola
Tunde Adebayo: Jordan Adene
Obioma Okoli: Michael Balogun
Paramedic: Simon Bailey
Consultant: Adrian Pang
Patient: Tessa Bell-Briggs
Mrs Flood: Anita Dobson
Market Seller: Inua Ellams
Security Guard: Funmi James







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