King Arthur: Legend of the Sword leads the new cinema releases and trailers May 19th 2017

King Arthur: Legend of the SwordThis week, there are SIX new films out for you to choose from: Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law and… erm… David Beckham hope the lead can handle Excalibur in King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn get Snatched – and no-one wants them to return, Tehran’s air pollution is causing major problems in Inversion, Anne Hathaway takes on a creature feature in Colossal, Rooney Mara keeps a diary of her extended stay at a mental hospital in The Secret Scripture, and there’s a remake of a 1949 classic movie in Whisky Galore!

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword reboots the titular legend yet again, this time with Charlie Hunnam in the lead role, and he’s also joined by his Queer As Folk co-star Aiden Gillen as Goosefat Bill, so it’d be great if they get a number of scenes together.

Unfortunately, Guy Ritchie is in the director’s chair, but the cast also includes Annabelle Wallis, Katie McGrath, Jude Law, Tom Wu, Djimon Hounsou and Eric Bana.

The young Arthur runs the back passages of Londonium with his crew, not knowing his royal lineage until he grabs Excalibur. Instantly confronted by the sword’s influence, Arthur is forced to make up his mind. He joins the rebellion and a shadowy young woman named Guinevere, he must learn to understand the magic weapon, deal with his demons and unite the people to defeat the dictator Vortigern, the man who murdered his parents and stole his crown to become king.

In the past, I loved Lock Stock and Snatch, but while I was tempted to go and see this to see how bad it was, I remember both Revolver and Sherlock Holmes were BORING, so I can’t sit there for a whole two hours plus. One eventually for Blu-ray, methinks.

I’ll also include below the David Beckham clip…

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Maybe!

Snatched potrays Amy Schumer in her typical singleton persona as Emily, newly-dumped and a spontaneous woman in her 30s who persuades her ultra-cautious mom (Goldie Hawn) to accompany her on a vacation to Ecuador. At Emily’s insistence, the pair seek out adventure, but suddenly find themselves kidnapped. When these two very different women are trapped on this wild journey, their bond as mother and daughter is tested and strengthened while they attempt to navigate the jungle and escape.

Directed by Jonathan Levine, from a script by Katie Dippold, and also starring Ike Barinholtz, Christopher Meloni, Randall Park and Wanda Sykes, this is the typical tired routine we’ve seen over and over again and really do not need to see again. Pass!

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!


Tehran’s air pollution has reached maximum levels because of thermal inversion. Unmarried 30-something Niloofar lives with her aged mother, and stays busy with her alterations shop. When doctors insist that her mother must leave smoggy Tehran for her respiratory health, Niloofar’s brother and family elders decide that she must also move away to accompany her mother.

Niloofar is torn between family loyalty and living her own life and pursuing a potential love interest. She is the youngest and she has always obeyed their orders, but this time she must stand up for herself.

Written and directed by Behnam Behzadi, and starring Alireza Aghakhani, Sahar Dolatshahi, Roya Javidnia and Ali Mosaffa, I’ve heard good word about this, but… the trailer left me cold. I think I’d rather breathe in the air, there, than watch this for 84 minutes.

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!

Colossal looked interesting at first in this brief trailer, as Gloria (Anne Hathaway) realises much later than everyone else (thanks to being in a drunken stupor) that there’s a monster terrorising Seoul, just walking through buildings without looking down.

And then she realises that SHE is controlling it. But how? or why? We’re not told in this trailer, but it lost me as she starts dancing and, thus, everyone sees the monster dancing, too.

According to the billing, it’s all connected to the mental breakdown from which she’s suffering, none of which was hinted at in the trailer.

Written and directed by Nacho Vigalondo, the film also stars Dan Stevens, Jason Sudeikis, Austin Stowell and Tim Blake Nelson, and it looks like a creature feature to ignore.

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!

The Secret Scripture centres around Rose (Rooney Mara), a young woman who keeps a diary of her extended stay at a mental hospital. And this drama looks as exciting as it sounds…

Directed by Jim Sheridan, and based on the novel by Sebastian Barry, the film also stars Theo James, Aidan Turner, Eric Bana, Jack Reynor, Vanessa Redgrave, Susan Lynch and Father Ted‘s Pauline McLynn, if you like Jim Sheridan films, maybe this is for you, but it really doesn’t work for me.

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!

Whisky Galore!

A remake of the 1949 classic (apparently – I haven’t seen it) and based on a true story, the name of the real ship, which sunk on February 5th, 1941 during WWII, was the SS Politician. Having left Liverpool two days earlier, heading for Jamaica, it sank outside Eriskay, The Outer Hebrides, in Scotland, in bad weather.

When 50,000 cases of whisky are stranded on a ship which runs aground, the inhabitants of the island can’t resist the temptation. Unfortunately, a Home Guard captain (an Englishman) stands in their way.

Starring Naomi Battrick, Ellie Kendrick, James Cosmo, Eddie Izzard, Fenella Woolgar, Kevin Guthrie, Sean Biggerstaff, Gregor Fisher and the late, great Tim Pigott-Smith (King Charles III), I’d prefer a night on the town on the booze than watching people drink it in this.

Hit or Miss? Verdict: Miss!