Lesbian Space Princess centres around introverted lesbian Saira (Shabana Azeez), a princess from Klitopia, who adores girlfriend Kiki (Bernie Van Tiel – Class Of 07), but it’s no longer reciprocated, and the latter wants to split up.
But in this relatively short film (well, just under 90 mins), it’s not long before the Straight White Maliens capture Kiki, demanding Saira gives them her Labrys within 24 hours, otherwise she’ll be fried when dropped into the “Lesbo Death Dip”.
I’d never heard what a labrys was before, but according to Wikipedia: “adopted by the lesbian community, as a lesbian feminist symbol, representing strength and self-sufficiency. The symbol is described to represent a butterfly and the labia, and is seen as an embodiment of the female spirit.”
Along the way to save her, Saira crashes into a dead moon, where she meets Willow (Gemma Chua-Tran), who really likes her, even if she’s a they/them (there’s no such thing), and later it’s questioned “Is Bisexual really a thing?” Well…
As a film, Lesbian Space Princess is pretty mediocre and does outstay its running time. The only thing I remembered was how Saira always says sorry for everything, like I did every time I was on holiday abroad, and mentioned I was English.
However, it is amusing when an actor pops up and is described as a ‘thesbian’, leading to a conversation mixing the two words up.
More interestingly, as I ended up seeing this and Night And Day in screen 3, because they alternated two films in there all day, it was telling that these films were originally scheduled for screen 4 (which has a better projector, I find), and they swapped the schedule over with the screen 3 films.
I should’ve smelled a rat, as I remember when this happened to when 2024’s Longlegs was shown in screen 5, and was swapped over with one of those screens with the two rows of Premiere seats in the middle, which irritate me because if you sit in them, you usually get the cheapseats behind you being loud.
Turned out screen 5’s air-con had broken, so in that case, Longlegs was expected to be the bigger draw, and the other film’s viewers could just sweat into a puddle.
I did look up what was showing in screen 4, and at 7.30pm, they had an Indian film, Main Vaapas Aaunga, on seemingly it’s only screening that I could see. I did a screengrab of the seat map (2nd pic), as I get nerdy about that, and yep, a bit busy. And since the screens had just been swapped over without telling anyone, about 6 couples came into Night And Day when it was halfway done. For anyone who was starting to sit within earshot, I said, “Excuse me, you want next door”, so they didn’t spend however long wondering what was onscreen.
The door was open to screen 4 after I came out, and I popped my head round briefly, and yep, absolutely jammed.
And at the time, I did ask a member of staff about screen 3’s air con, but just got an “umm.. ah” response, and so I knew the answer anyway. The air con was bust and that wasn’t changing any time soon.
Oddly, before I realised the state of the air-con problem, with this being the first film, it didn’t get started until just after 30 minutes had passed. A member of staff came in, along the way, to explain they were trying to sort it out and reboot the projector, but when it started, unlike most times in there, where a 1.85:1 film on a 2.39:1 screen has horrid grey bars at the sides because they don’t draw the curtains in while the film’s on, the sides for this one were jet black. Also, for a brief moment where the 1.85:1 image is matted to a pseudo-2.39:1 widescreen effect, the top and bottom of those black bars were also jet black.
So, I’m thinking this screen now has a laser projector? But then when Night And Day started, it was business as usual, making me think that they’d swapped back to the old, regular projector. A shame, since the picture’s not as good, but then at least it started without issues. I’ll keep an eye on this one, although in the days following these screenings, screen 3 is currently out of action.
Lesbian Space Princess is in cinemas now, but isn’t yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD. However, once announced, it will appear on the New DVD Blu-ray 3D and 4K releases UK list.
However, there is already a ton of other Lesbian Space Princess merch online here!
NOTE: There are no mid- nor post-credits scenes.
Detailed specs:
Cert: 
Running time: 87 minutes
Release date: June 19th 2026
Studio: Umbrella Entertainment
Aspect ratio: 1.85:1
Rating: 3/10
Directors: Emma Hough Hobbs, Leela Varghese
Screenplay: Emma Hough Hobbs, Leela Varghese
Producer: Tom Phillips
Music: Michael Darren
Voice Cast:
Princess Saira: Shabana Azeez
Kiki the Destroyer: Bernie Van Tiel
Willow: Gemma Chua-Tran
Queen Leanne: Jordan Raskopoulos
Queen Anne: Madeleine Sami
Malien Leader: Mark Samual Bonanno
Malien Larry: Zachary Ruane
Malien Josh: Broden Kelly
Lesbian Guard: Arlen Velez
The Ship: Richard Roxburgh
Safety Bubble: Reuben Kaye
Spacewalker Girlie: Cheyenne Maher
Spacewalker Boyfie: Paul Howe
Space Busker: Max Garcia-Underwood
Tumbleweed: Lori Bell
Blade: Kween Kong
Thesbian: Jack Evans
DNM Girl: Demi Lardner
Happy Commet: Alice Lam
Tiny Penis: Cale Matthews
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.