Tarot – The DVDfever Cinema Review – Jacob Batalon, Olwen Fouéré

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Tarot is another one of those ‘all teenagers might die’ horror movies, this time, starting with friends round a campfire, before going to a cabin in the woods… Oh, like ALL of those films, then…

Once settled, they find a set of tarot cards, even though – before doing the readings – Haley (Harriet Slater, above) announces there’s an unspoken bad luck rule about how you shouldn’t use someone else’s cards, yet they still go ahead, anyway, especially given the fact they come in a fancy box that’s going to have something rum about it.

She asks for everyone’s starsign in turn, so she can read their horrorscope with the cards, basically telling them how they might potentially die if it actually comes to pass, unless it’s as much hokum as the script.

So, you know people are going to get bumped off one-by-one, but who first and when will it stop? Meanwhile, there’s a figure whos’ appearing and disappearing, plus jump scares, and Olwen Fouéré (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022) as obvious creepy old woman is obvious.

But then, even the deaths are mostly forgettable, and I spotted one that was partly taken from a Dr Phibes film, so there’s not a lot of originality in there. Plus, the film takes itself too seriously. It could’ve been fun if they’d played it for laughs, to a degree. At least the Final Destination films had more structure in who goes next, and why.

Plus, does the Death card really mean death? I’ve heard about it meaning rebirth or a new beginning, but not actually death as this film sometimes claims. Then again, Tarot cards are just complete bollocks.

Spider-Man fans might tune in to see if Tom’s mate, Jacob Batalon, makes it, as Paxton. If they care.

Finally, as an aside, it takes 17 mins before the title actually appears.

Finally finally, as with Trafford Centre’s screen 3 at Odeon, for Night Swim and The Iron Claw, there is now a light problem in screen 10. Given the lack of anything changing in previous attempts to get that turned off – as you can read in those reviews, I didn’t expect anything to change with Tarot.

In this case, instead of a light on in the middle of the room, there was a huge light at the back of the room, glaring on to the screen. A couple of minutes in and one guy went out, I expected nothing to change, but lo and behold, the light DID go out! I later gleamed that there should be three lights at the back, but only one is working. I saw one of the staircase sets of lights was off, but most people just use their phone torch to find their seat in the dark, anyway.

Given that some work has been done in the ‘screens 1-6’ area recently, I can only presume that’s to do with the ongoing electrical works, and that it’s now affecting other screens including No.10. They certainly didn’t fix the toilets in that area, which have all manner of problems including broken locks and barely any water coming out of the taps.

However, most of this film was in the dark, so to put Tarot in that screen was utterly stupid. You just wouldn’t have seen ANYTHING with the lights on. Whoever made that decision needs their head read.

Tarot is in cinemas now, and is available to pre-order on Blu-ray and DVD, ahead of its release date TBA.

Tarot – Official Trailer – Sony Pictures Entertainment

Detailed specs:

Running time: 92 minutes
Release date: May 3rd 2024
Studio: Sony Pictures Entertainment
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1
Cinema: Odeon Trafford Centre
Rating: 1/10

Directors: Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg
Producers: Scott Glassgold, Elysa Koplovitz Dutton, Leslie Morgenstein
Screenplay: Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg
Novel: Nicholas Adams
Music: Joseph Bishara

Haley: Harriet Slater
Paige: Avantika
Paxton: Jacob Batalon
Old woman: Olwen Fouéré
Madeline: Humberly González
Elise: Larsen Thompson
Grant: Adain Bradley
Lucas: Wolfgang Novogratz
The Countess: Stasa Nikolic
The Hermit / The Magician: James Swanton
Hanson: Alan Wells
Astrologer: Suncica Milanovic
The Devil: Joss Carter