And part 1 is, as often happens, Noah’s part, and he’s back in New York and back swimming in the pool where he did so in the first episode, bumping into the same hottie he did back then, who tells him she’s engaged, and then wonders why she did… But I’m wondering why she’s still taking her engagement ring into the pool since it’ll easily fall off!!
And even more confusing – how come this makes him such a draw for her, as well as being able to shag any young woman he wants? That’s such fucking bullshit!!
Anyhoo, he ends up in a room with other ne’er-do-wells, where he’s been pulled in for ‘disorderly conduct’ and another guy he meets, Victor, was told a serious allegation has been made against him. Huh? What’s the do? It’s a bit like Dr Terror’s House of Horrors, where everyone’s meeting up in one location, not realising that they’re already dead.
Then he’s off to his publisher, Harry. Who has a hot assistant. Who he wants to fuck. And he tells Noah that he has a hot wife. Then he learns Noah is separated. This is dull.
And then he’s back with Annoying Cop, for no apparent reason. It’s like another house for Dr Terror’s House of Horrors.
Helen then wants a chat, and tells him her mother’s hired a private eye to build a case against him for divorce, and we see the footage of him beating up the man in the abortion clinic. I didn’t realise it was meant to be Scotty Lockhart! I assumed he was dead! And of all the other unbelievable things, despite the fact she knows Noah’s been boning loads of young women, she still actually wants him to come home. WTF?!!
Noah’s obviously got something to hide as he buys off the AAA guy who fixed his car with $20k to avoid spilling any beans. But what beans does he have to spill?
Meanwhile, Whitney pisses and moans at her parents because of her dad’s hypocrisy telling her that she shouldn’t have slept with someone 15 years age difference, when he’s done exactly the same with Alison. The girl escapes over to Alison’s house, and as mom and pop go over, Helen comes out with the rather unprofound statement “I was so afraid of marrying my father, I never realised I was marrying my mother”. Huh?
And where is Scotty? Cherry’s banging on about how Scotty’s gone and is not coming back… until he pops down the stairs, thinking the Solloways have gone. And receives a few punches to the face for his trouble, until Cole turns up and forces Noah at gunpoint to desist, yet wanting to blow his brains out. With both Helen and Alison looking at him… it ends. THAT’S OUR CLIFFHANGER?? WTF? I don’t care what happens!!
As night follows day, Part 2 follows Part 1, and it’s Alison’s turn, for the last time. She’s with Athena and her hippy male friend, Dennis, who’s trying to hook her up with a guy.
Then there follows a bizarre scene where Alison wakes up and is talking to a girl who looks like Phoebe, but she’s waiting for Phoebe (maybe I mixed them up while I fell into a coma but I thought Phoebe was the one with black hair), and Alison’s playing dumb about the misfortunes of the ranch.
Anyhoo, Alison goes to talk to Cole, but the only thing they have in common is their deceased child.
And then Whitney turns up. Zzzz…. And while Noah’s part showed Whitney knowing nothing of Alison calling him to let him know that she’s there, this time round, she’s fully in the know.
But before we continue with that, the AAA guy is in with Annoying Cop, and he spills the beans to the cop that Noah didn’t want him to spill the beans. Turns out it’s a set-up as AAA guy had tax issues.
Back with Alison, Whitney can’t understand why Alison screwed her Dad, since “he’s so old, and your husband’s so hot”.
Then it’s time for the showdown between the Solloways and the Lockharts, as they’re all still inside and it’s there where Cole pulls the gun. While pointing it at Noah and family, Alison pleads that if he wants to point it at anyone, to point it at her, since she’s the cause of it all…. to which he amusingly responds, “Okay”, and turns it on her, just after professing that she’s the only thing left that he cares about. Or will he blows his own brains out?
Well, he doesn’t. And there’s no Scotty. And as Helen leaves with Whitney, Noah stays behind to play happy families with Alison, clearly some time after the previous scene. WTF?
Then, just like Rod Hull on Emu’s All Live Pink Windmill Show, “There’s somebody at the door!” and it’s Annoying Cop. He’s arresting Noah. And I don’t care about this cliffhanger either.
Goodnight, The Affair!
Episode 10 Score: 2/10
Director: Jeffrey Reiner
Producer: Andrea P Stilgenbauer
Writer: Sarah Treem
Creators: Sarah Treem and Hagai Levi
Sound: Marcelo Zarvos
Noah Solloway: Dominic West
Alison Bailey: Ruth Wilson
Helen Solloway: Maura Tierney
Cole Lockhart: Joshua Jackson
Whitney Solloway: Julia Goldani Telles
Cherry Lockhart: Mare Winningham
Detective Jeffries: Victor Williams
Oscar Hodges: Darren Goldstein
Max: Josh Stamberg
Dr Henry: Jeffrey De Munn
Scotty Lockhart: Colin Donnell
Hal Lockhart: Danny Fischer
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.