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Ash Attacks...

No.1: Chris Moyles

Online: 26th February 2004

Warning: the following page contains the truth.

Cover
Chris Moyles with the
brother of a drunken lunatic.
At the start of this year, Radio 1 switched round their drivetime and breakfast show hosts, Chris Moyles and Sara Cox. I don't much care for the latter, nor Radio 1 as a whole, but there is something about Chris Moyles, the self-proclaimed "Saviour of Radio 1", which clearly isn't working because their listening figures are fast on the decline, which makes you want to punch him in the face.

Lately, he has reckoned he is the one behind the re-release of Peter Andre's Mysterious Girl, a No.2 hit in the mid-80s and which is on course to hit the top slot in its re-release this Sunday, despite the fact that the record company had already planned this from the moment the washboard-stomached one set foot in a fake jungle for ITV's cameras.


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The original tub of lard.
Chris Moyles isn't just completely unfunny, and by Mark Lamarr's definition of the man when he appeared on an episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Moyles is a "cunt", but he's also a very rude man to boot.

The lardy talentless DJ was the subject of debate on last week's Feedback (Radio 4, Fridays 1.30pm, repeated Sundays 8pm), and comments range amongst the following:

    "I have found The Chris Moyles Show too argumentative and offensive for that time of the morning. I don't mind foul language and heated arguments, but do not want to hear gratuitous comments on sex, the word "pussy" at 8am or his one-way bully tactics such as his obsession with Peter Andre.

    "I was disappointed to hear Chris Moyles refer to Rachel on his show as 'a piece of ass'. While I know he tries to appeal to 'the lads', I find his show inappropriate for a public service broadcaster to refer to women in a derogatory manner."

    "The hour between getting up and leaving the house is the only bit of calm in an otherwise hectic day, and to start it off by listening to a shouted tirade of insults and schoolboy humour is not nice. Radio 1 is supposed to appeal to me as a 25-year-old woman, but try as I have I cannot appreciate Chris Moyles. I'm now left surfing for an alternative on commercial radio."


Cover
"Half the BBC are on drugs"
- Chris Evans
Ben Cooper, head of mainstream programmes for Radio 1, was asked by presenter Roger Bolton whether such language and words like pussy were acceptable at that time of the morning, but all the pointless guest could do was waffle on about 'context', 'perspective' and that Moyles is a "polarising presenter" who talks in a way that doesn't actually suit everyone (Oh well, that makes it alright then(!), despite Roger Bolton explaining that his daughters insist the radio is switched over away from Radio 1 on the way to school.

Chris Moyles - not funny and definitely not clever, and here's a couple of examples of the fat, unfunny sack of shit throwing insults.

Chris Moyles insults colleague Rachel

Chris Moyles insults wine expert Jilly Goulden

Page Content copyright © Ash, 2004.

The following is a list of Ash's Attacks on:

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