Dear England… I’m not into football, but I heard good things about the play, didn’t see it live, but when it came to cinemas, I couldn’t understand why they want a small fortune for something pre-recorded.
Upfront, this draams tells us it’s fictionalised account of the struggles and successes of England’s football teams. It’s based on real events and draws on extensive research and interviews, but with some additional characters created for dramatic purposes, and with “imagined dialogue” by the writer.
After a brief moment in 1996, for a Euro match between England and Germany, 1996, when of course, we won, and didn’t need any more Three Lions iterations… not quite…. Gareth Southgate missed a penalty.
Fast-forward to 2016 where Joseph Fiennes (Prisoner 951) takes the lead as the now-former England Manager, and the powers that be want Sam Allardyce to resign, after just one game, because of some dodgy stuff he was up to, and got caught out in the press, before they blow smoke up Southgate’s arse, to get him to take the job.
Cue psychologist Pippa Grange (Jodie Whittaker, whose Aussie accent keeps disappearing), who’s brought in as Head of People and Team Development at the Football Association to be a ‘penalty whisperer’, and big ‘inspiring chat’ from Southgate, and on and on it drones, into World Cups, COVID and beyond.
Well, in Dear England, I wondered if a drama about football could actually get me interested in the subject. It didn’t. Oh well, I tried. Even Saipan was more interesting. I’m not sure if this is a ‘me’ thing, or the fact that they just didn’t try to adapt it so that non-football fans would be engaged with a drama.
And that bit where they’re supposedly going underwater in a lake outside? I can spot the CGI a mile off! No-one’s risking free cholera in 2026. Just ask Feargal Sharkey.
However, for as little as I know about football, I did see that one of the many footballers he chats with is Harry Maguire, who wasn’t picked for the 2026 squad, then moaned about how he “should of” been in the squad. Hope he spends more time at home, this summer, with a book on grammar.
Dear England begins tonight on BBC1 at 9pm. It continues tomorrow, and then concludes on Sunday and Monday next week.
It’s not yet available to pre-order on Blu-ray or DVD, but when it is, it will be listed on the New DVD, Blu-ray, 3D and 4K releases UK page.
In the meantime, you can buy the script of the play.
I expect on day one, all episodes will be on BBC iPlayer after episode 1 has aired.
Director: Rupert Goold
Producer: Tina Pawlik
Writer: James Graham
Cast:
Gareth Southgate: Joseph Fiennes
Pippa Grange: Jodie Whittaker
Steve Holland: Daniel Ryan
Mike Webster: Sam Spruell
Greg Clarke: John Hodgkinson
Greg Dyke: Jason Watkins
Sam Allardyce: Andrew Dunn
Wayne Rooney: Bobby Schofield
Young Gareth Southgate: Kasper Hilton-Hille
Emily: Crystal Condie
Reporter: Amber Doyle
Dan: Gunnar Cauthery
Physio Phil: Gerard Monaco
Harry Maguire: Adam Hugill
Raheem Sterling: Francis Lovehall
Jordan Henderson: David Shields
Dele Alli: Lewis Shepherd
Eric Dier: Hamish Frew
Marcus Rashford: Edem-Ita Duke
Jordan Pickford: Josh Barrow
Harry Kane: Will Antenbring
Jesse Lingard: Xander Westcarr-Parsons
Major Scotty Mills: Bailey Patrick
Reviewer of movies, videogames and music since 1994. Aortic valve operation survivor from the same year. Running DVDfever.co.uk since 2000. Nobel Peace Prize winner 2021.